This sexual history list is hard. Can't it just be a top ten?
Well, Andy's not here yet.
He's probably busy getting busy with his ragtag team of gutter skanks.
"Gutter skanks"? Didn't I see them open for Cannibal Corpse?
Look, you need to relax. Why don't we just get a drink, or nine?
Two double Jack and Gingers. Oh, yeah, Jack. Number 38.
Oh, and that ginger. Number 39.
Max, look, Jen from New Rochelle put up a new update on WebMD.
She says her life has gotten so much better after joining a site called "His-and-herpes."
Hi, Andy. Have a seat.
Remember, you don't know that he gave it to you,
and you don't know that you have it, so be cool.
Don't worry, Max, I got this. And Andy, I got that!
I thought it was annoying when people took pictures of their food.
When were you gonna tell me, Andy?
When my vagina burst into flames and became an actual burning bush?
Wait, that's yours?
Worst selfie ever, right?
Wow, I didn't recognize it. Was it out in the sun?